Zombie Rules Read online

  Zombie Rules

  By David Achord

  This book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  © 2013 David Achord. All rights reserved.

  Also by David Achord: Z14

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1 - The Present

  Chapter 2 – Two Years Ago in Sophomore Hell

  Chapter 3 - My Grandmother

  Chapter 4 - The Worst Day of My Life

  Chapter 5 - The Beginning

  Chapter 6 - Exodus

  Chapter 7 - The Death of a Thug

  Chapter 8 - Wildfire

  Chapter 9 - Our First Zombie

  Chapter 10 - A Trek In To Franklin

  Chapter 11 - Houseguests

  Chapter 12 - Righteous Rick

  Chapter 13 - Houseguests and Fish

  Chapter 14 - The Death of Righteousness

  Chapter 15 - A Proper Burial

  Chapter 16 - A Reunion of Sorts

  Chapter 17 – Friends and Foes

  Chapter 18 - Training

  Chapter 19 - Learning to Share

  Chapter 20 – Betrayal at the Bridge

  Chapter 21 - There Is No Redemption

  Chapter 22 - A New Friend

  Chapter 23 - A Rescue Attempt

  Chapter 24 - Houston Barracks

  Chapter 25 - A Reunion on Sidco Drive

  Chapter 26 - Adoption

  Chapter 27 - April Showers

  Chapter 28 - Interlopers

  Chapter 29 - Honey & Panties

  Chapter 30 – Setting Traps

  Chapter 31 – Hello Leon

  Chapter 32 - Shot

  Chapter 33 - Trapped

  Chapter 34 – Rooftop Purgatory

  Chapter 35 – Escape

  Chapter 36 – Reunited and it Feels so Good?

  Chapter 37 – A Man to Man Talk

  Chapter 38 – The Scouts

  Chapter 39 - Starry Starry Night

  Chapter 40 – Back to the Present

  Chapter 1 - The Present

  I stood on the second floor balcony of the library, overlooking the smoldering remains of books and the overturned shelves. Soot stained ceiling tiles told a tale of a fire which did not completely take. Nevertheless, the damage was done. Many books had survived, but they had sustained extensive smoke and water damage. Amazingly, the fire retardant system still had a little pressure left in it. The water was flowing out of the sprinkler heads at a trickle now. Tendrils of smoke were still emanating here and there. This had been set recently, within an hour. There were other acts of vandalism as well. Most of the windows were broken, and obscene graffiti had been painted maliciously on the walls of a facility which had existed only to educate.

  Heathens. It is the noun I use to describe them. Somehow, many of them had survived when so many good people had died. They roamed in gangs of various numbers, leaving a trail of ruin in their wake. They had little regard for rebuilding society, bent only on their own shortsighted, destructive desires. There was nothing for me here.

  Since the infection outbreak, my visits to the Nashville area were infrequent. The urban areas, densely populated back when society was normal and functional, were now populated with the infected.

  My thoughts were interrupted when I heard angry yelling. It was not inhuman in origin, definitely human. My survival instincts warned me against it, but I was curious. I surreptitiously exited the library through a side door. The muffled voices were now more succinct, and I could discern the direction. I crept south along Edmondson Pike toward the sounds. I scanned the area warily as I walked, hugging the abandoned cars for cover. I did not have to go far.

  There were three of them. I used my rifle scope to get a good look at them. Two of them were rough looking men. The third one was a young girl with long dark hair. One of the men, a tall lanky man with rounded shoulders, was loudly berating the girl, and as I watched, hit her with a stinging backhanded slap. She fell to the ground. The other one, a shorter, dirtier version of his friend, laughed loudly. Both of them had beards with some kind of beads braided in them. It looked stupid. The tall one then began kicking the girl. Not hard kicks which would have broken ribs, but softer kicks. Kicks intended more for debasement and humiliation.

  I crouched beside an overturned car and rested my rifle on one of the flattened tires. About the time I got sighted in, the tall one picked up the girl by the scruff of her neck and gruffly yanked her pants down.

  Correction, did I say girl? With the aid of my scope, I could see other things. Nope, definitely not a girl. He was skinny as a rail. It was difficult to determine his age, maybe eleven or twelve.

  I made a decision. Kill the bastards. They were bullies. I had a special dark place in my heart towards bullies. They had been passing a whiskey bottle back and forth while bullying the little boy. The short one took a long pull from it and laughed gleefully when his friend yanked the kid’s pants down.

  I scanned the area with my scope, then took my eye off of them for a moment and did another quick check of my surroundings. Paranoia was a positive character trait in this day and age. I did not want to be ambushed from behind. When I looked at them again, big and ugly now had his captive bent over the lowered tailgate of a truck and had his own pants down. He had no idea I was watching him as he started brutally sodomizing the boy. Disgusting.

  His body was gyrating fervidly, too much for a clean head shot. So, I put the crosshairs at the center of his shoulder blades, took a slow breath, exhaled, and gently squeezed the trigger. If I had made it past the tenth grade, I could probably give you a nice graphic description of the destruction the boat-tail hollow point bullet caused, every action book I’ve ever read does it, but I won’t bother. I think you get the idea.

  After shooting the first one, bully number two stood there looking dumbfounded. His alcohol sodden brain was slow to process what had happened. I worked the action of my Winchester and fired again. The whiskey bottle fell out of his hand and shattered on the ground.

  I didn’t have to worry about being arrested. This was the way of the world these days. What a way to celebrate my eighteenth birthday.

  Chapter 2 – Two Years Ago in Sophomore Hell

  I was in love. You know the kind of love. Teenage, goo-goo eyed puppy love. It was exhilarating. It was excruciating. The emotion occupied my every waking thought and even my dreams. Hell, it occupied my mind even while I took my morning crap.

  I was currently sitting in history class, casting glances at the object of my adoration, when I was broken out of my reverie by Ms. Snotgrass, my teacher. The teacher from hell I might add.

  “Zachariah Gunderson, are you paying attention?” That’s me. Zachariah Gunderson. Currently stuck in sophomore hell. Imprisoned eight hours a day in a worn out public high school. The popular opinion is it should have been burned down years ago. The teacher’s name is actually Snodgrass, an old Nashville family name, but she had such a snotty attitude all the students called her Snotgrass, behind her back of course.

  I looked up at her. She was short and very stout, like a bulging beer keg. She was possibly around forty-five-years-old, but she looked at least ten years older. She was currently glaring at me over a pair of dirty bifocals.

  “Oh, yes ma’am. I’m here.” A couple of my friends chuckled. I grinned and looked over at Macie. She glanced at me without expression and turned her attention back to her text book.

  Macie Kingsley was her name. She had long blonde hair, hazel green eyes, perfect white teeth, and nice teenage curves. She was on the varsity cheerleading team and very popular. I was on the track team. We had been dating for almost three months, and Saturday night, yeah just two days ago, she fi
nally let me.

  You know what I mean. We made love. Engaged in intimate relations. Fucked like bunnies.

  Saturday was our three month anniversary, and I wanted it to be special. Macie told me to surprise her. I opted for a romantic moonlit picnic, and it had to be perfect. I planned it out with the tenacity of General von Steuben.

  I picked out a remote area overlooking a brook which bordered one side of the farm I worked at. It had a beautiful view overlooking a valley. I spent all afternoon setting up Tiki torches, laying out blankets, and preparing a fire. My Grandmother fixed veggie wraps, and Rick was kind enough to purchase a bottle of wine for us.

  As the sun set, I lit the fire, opened the wine, and told her how I felt about her. If it were a movie, the audience would have been laughing at my awkwardness. Nevertheless, Macie responded by telling me she loved me as well. I lost my virginity under a harvest moon on a balmy Saturday night.

  It was the happiest I had ever been.

  The memories were causing me to become distracted, and aroused. That is, until Ms. Snotgrass once again interrupted my thoughts. “Well then, would you please tell the class what is the first National monument of the United States, hmmmm?”

  The class was quiet now. The old fat ass was infamous for asking innocuous history questions to students whom she felt were not applying themselves. If you missed it, which everyone always did, she punished you with extra homework. Not merely reading an extra chapter and answering those damned questions at the end. Hell, you had to write an essay paper to go along with it. She looked at me pointedly, coldly. A hint of a sneer was forming at the corner of her mouth.

  “Easy, Devils Tower, and there is no apostrophe between the l and the s. And, it is not to be confused with the first National Park, which is Yellowstone.” I responded nonchalantly and looked over at Macie again for an acknowledgement. No response.

  Snotty was not finished with me. “Very astute, or you are just very lucky. But please continue Mr. Gunderson. Why don’t you amaze the class with your brilliant intellect? Tell us more.”

  “Must I? I mean, I answered your silly question.” This time only one of my friends laughed, but it was more like a low chuckle which died quickly. All eyes were on Snotty now. She was a vindictive, petty woman. You know the type. Every school has at least one. She was one of those teachers who basked in the glow of power over her students, knowing that with her tenure the school administration could do very little to rebuke her antics. A bully.

  “Well then, perhaps you’d like to spend the rest of the week in detention, hmmm?” She made a hand gesture at me. She wanted me to stand, to better shame me in front of the class. I had another idea.

  I sighed and stood. “Very well.” I inhaled. “The Devils Tower is an igneous outcropping of rock located in the state of Wyoming. Its elevation is about 1,200 feet high give or take, and is believed to be either the product of eroded laccolith or the plug of an extinct volcano. The name originated as a result of the misinterpretation of a name the indigent Native Americans had given it. President Theodore Roosevelt, a staunch Republican by the way, dedicated it as the nation’s first monument in 1907. The President is the only person who has the authority to establish a national monument, and it is generally done through the act of an executive order. There are currently one hundred and four protected areas with the title of national monument…”

  “That will be quite enough Gunderson. Sit down.” Snotty tilted her head down so she could properly shoot daggers at me over those ridiculous bifocals, but it did not stop the class from applauding. Macie was not clapping, just looking at me oddly. The bell rang and I hurried for the door before Snotty thought of some form of vindictive revenge.

  I waited for Macie in the hallway. “Hey.” I said to her as she exited the class. I tried to sneak in a quick kiss but she turned her head adeptly. My lips caught a passing glimpse of her cheek.

  “Not here.” She whispered curtly. People passed by me patting me on the back and congratulating me over my very small triumph.

  I walked along with Macie and Felix soon joined us. He was my best friend. “Man, you rocked in there! Ole Snotty didn’t know what hit her. You’ve got to be some kind of genius Zach! How’d you know all that stuff?”

  Macie and Felix looked at me expectantly. I shrugged. “I read a lot and have a good memory.”

  “Well if you don’t start applying that brain to your classwork, you’ll never graduate high school. Then you can kiss any scholarship possibilities goodbye.” Macie punctuated her statement with an upturned nose as she turned to walk off. I hurried to catch up with her. Felix started to follow but I looked back at him and gestured with a shake of the head. He took the hint.

  I caught up with Macie and walked along with her. “Hey babe, what’s up? You seem mad at me.”

  She glanced at me sidelong as she continued to walk. “It’s not you. I’m about to start. I’m just feeling irritable.” She saw my obvious confusion and rolled her eyes. “My period Zach. I’m about to start my period. God Zach, for somebody who is so smart you sure are naïve.” I could feel my cheeks turning red. She scoffed at me, but then squeezed my hand briefly.

  “So, you have track practice after school?” I nodded. Track and a good memory were my strong points. I was counting on a track scholarship after high school. My only living relative was my Grandmother. Her only source of income was Social Security. Otherwise, it was a life on the farm with Rick, or a long indebtedness of student loans.

  Macie looked around furtively and then quickly kissed me on the cheek. “I’ve got cheerleading practice. So I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  It was not what I wanted to hear. “Practice is only for a couple of hours. Why don’t I come over after? I can shower at school.” Macie quickly shook her head. “Why not?”

  The smile was gone and replaced by a frown. “Zach, quit being so needy.” I did not say anything, just hung my head. I couldn’t help it. “Zach, Jesus. I’m going to a study group with the girls after practice, okay? We’ll probably be late.”

  I looked up. “What’s late? I mean, I can just stop by for a few minutes.” She stopped me with another shake of the head. “Well how about you call me before you go to bed?” I grinned “We can talk dirty to each other.”

  “Sure Zach. I’ll talk to you later.” She walked off before I could sneak in another kiss.

  Felix jogged up as Macie walked off. “So Zach, how’re you and Macie doing?” Felix was always asking about the two of us. He did not have a girlfriend. We’d grown up together and lived around the block from each other. He was the only one who saw me cry every night for a week after my parents died. It was a stupid car wreck, a direct result of my father’s drunkenness. Felix never judged me or teased me, always a brotherly pat on the shoulder and kind words. He was a good dude and a good friend. But poor Felix had never had a girlfriend. He claimed otherwise but I’m pretty sure that he had never even kissed another girl. The poor guy was short, awkward, and had poor eyesight which required him to wear incredibly thick glasses. The effect worsened his already homely appearance. But, he was still my friend.

  “Well buddy, I think she’s the woman I’m going to marry one day.” His eyes lit up. The lenses magnified them to two large orbs.

  “Wow, I’ve never heard this one. Something big must have happened to make you feel this…” He stopped and looked at me. I could not help but grin. It could be best described as a massive, shit-eating grin. “Oh my fucking God, you did the two-backed beast with her!”

  “Sshh, keep it down bro.” I kept my voice low. “I don’t want the whole world knowing. Come on, we need to get to track practice. Maybe I’ll tell you all about it.” He giggled as we turned around and started heading toward the locker room. I was not paying attention, and bumped into someone. His name was Jason Argos. He was standing around the corner, motionless. It was almost as if he had been listening to us. I apologized quickly. A lowly sophomore did not go around casually bumping into
seniors.

  “Oh, sorry Jason! We didn’t even know you were there.” I said.

  Jason looked at me oddly a moment. “No problem. My bad.” He continued staring at me but turned aside for us to pass. Jason was a senior. He was a very handsome biracial eighteen-year-old, six feet, six inches tall and very muscular. He was a varsity athlete with letters in baseball and football. All of which made him probably the most popular guy in school. He was very popular with the girls and never lacked for a date.

  Felix always gushed over him, a true bromance. “Hey buddy.” He tried to act like they were the best of friends. Jason nodded. He merely tolerated Felix, along with most other underclassman. As we walked out to the track, Felix continued with his love of Jason.

  “Have you heard? He finished the baseball season with an ERA of 2.01. Friday night he had three touchdown passes against Overton. Not only does he have his own personal pitching coach, he has a quarterback coach as well. That’s phenomenal!” He looked around conspiratorially. “Rumor has it he’s already been offered a load of money under the table to go with a certain SEC team in the eastern part of the state, if you know what I mean.” He winked.

  “You think he’ll marry you?” I asked sarcastically.

  Felix laughed and actually blushed. “You crack me up Zach.”

  Our conversation was interrupted by one of the assistant principals. “Mr. Gunderson, there is a rather rough looking man who is waiting for you in the parking lot. He said he is your boss and there is an emergency involving your Grandmother.”

  Chapter 3 - My Grandmother

  I spotted Rick sitting in a truck waving at me. He had his three dogs with him, whom he had named Moe, Larry, and Curly. They were strays he had found and adopted. It was hard to tell what mixtures of breeding made up their genetic content. It was assumed they had the same mother, but it was hard to tell.

  “Hey Rick, what’s up?” I asked when I jogged up. Rick was a grizzled old Vietnam veteran who worked at the farm with me. Technically he was my boss. He was a little past sixty. A hard life, along with generous amounts of alcohol and cigarettes, had etched deep lines in his sun damaged face. It appeared he had been going on a week without shaving. Felix jogged up a short time later and said hello. Rick ignored him.